A lot going on

It has been a few days since I have written anything. I needed a break from writing. I was getting sick of forcing myself to write something that I did not know what it means. I am afraid to admit that I no longer know what to say.

The last couple of years I could feel the words of almost anything come out so easy. Then the last couple of months I just did not know what I wanted to say, or if I should say something at all. There has been a lot of outside factors I think played a big part into what I was going through. I have been trying to fight through it, but it has not been a well thought out idea.

Life is not easy, and I do not like to ask for help. I do not like to be a burden on anybody, so I put all the pressure on myself to do it. I do not leave my house I just go to work come home, and think and wonder what am I doing. Is this stupid or worth my time. I have so much that I want to do, but I just can never seem to do it.

Now I think I am ready to write. Pressure has been laying on my side, for years and I have realize that time is running out. There is no more waiting I must go. I wrote a movie, and now I need to edit it. I would love to have help, but I must do it.

Poem: The Untold

My eyes no longer hold my truth.

They have sunken into a place that is full of burden.

Trying to figure out which way to go, but constantly getting lost in each direction.

Not realizing that they cannot go where they would want.

They are searching for the whole that has left my heart.

The place that has all the memories that go back so far.

My eyes are now starting to lie.

They have been telling untruths the day you became a memory.

They stop seeing the now and just looking for the past.

Hoping one day to find the piece that made not stop looking away.

Poem: Wings

The time has come for me to be strong.

The time has come for me to move on from this.

I can no longer lift my head and hide my tears.

I can only shield you from all my fears.

Simply put I am no longer your guardian angel.

I am searching for mine.

The bravery I show is never meant to be dull.

I want to hold you tight, but I can barely hold me.

My wings are meant to cherish, as my heart is meant to break.

Yet I always have a smile on my face.

Meanwhile my wings are breaking.

I can no longer help you fly.

Your angel needs their own.

Even an angel wings break sometimes.