I think I need a dream.
I need to feel.
The holes that surrounding me are getting closer to taking me.
The time is not running.
The love is building.
Sounds of danger is the only thing that seems to matter.
Why are my trees not planning roots.
My seeds are living through the grounds that happiness dies.
There are no thoughts that can be had.
Saying the words, now is making me mad.
Words are no longer starting to matter.
My thoughts are drowning in the wonder that no longer holds my mind.
The danger that I thought I knew became the one I forgave.
Living a dream also means living a nightmare.
The difference is only one of them is true.
Trying to find things to exist but knowing that we do not.
I know you might not understand where I am coming from.
Just understand that this is my story.
I have all the words that need to be told.
Yesterday I was going to try to be happy, but then today came, and that went out the window. I honestly do not know why I am feeling like this. If I am being honest I know what exactly is going on, and I am just too afraid to answer it. I knew I had to be somewhere today, and I spent most of my morning planning for it. Knowing that my whole mood changed. One thing I do know is, that I need to work on me, if you can understand that.
The one thing I have learn since this whole quarantine situation ( even though I have not done it), is that you have to take care of yourself. Now that I am left along with my thoughts more than normally, a lot of things have come to light and have made me question every decision that I, or someone I know have made. The one thing that became clear to me is that I am not living life. I am something that is just here, That is terrifying to think about, yet I am still not doing anything to make it better. The more I am alone with these thoughts make me questions everything. I know what I need to do, but the question is will I do it.
This is just a peak into what I have been dealing with the last few months. Everyone be safe and take care of yourselves.