I tried to find me today.
It just was not the same.
The claws that hang on my back, went in deeper than before.
I tried to get a move, but my spirt did not want me to.
I keep looking for this dream, but it is not near me.
Where has all this turn to.
I just want to be free.
Am I even dreaming or awake?
I took a day off.
Then I remember why that simply cannot be.
My life has been on hold, and now it is holding on to something.
Things that made sense are now a blur.
Make believe is not an option that I can have.
I want a dream, but life is simply anything but.
When will I learn to live with me and not a dream?
Is there a dream that I can have to simply be seen?
I would just like to know, before they tell me to go.
I succeed today.
At least that is what I think.
I made the grade that some say was not possible.
I took the leap that faith told me was okay.
Then why do I not feel okay?
Why is my heart and mind not the same?
Which one do I choose?
The one that is always true, or the one that makes me sing the blues.
I cannot not pick so I will let them sit.
In the stench that has become me.
The time has come for me to be strong.
The time has come for me to move on from this.
I can no longer lift my head and hide my tears.
I can only shield you from all my fears.
Simply put I am no longer your guardian angel.
I am searching for mine.
The bravery I show is never meant to be dull.
I want to hold you tight, but I can barely hold me.
My wings are meant to cherish, as my heart is meant to break.
Yet I always have a smile on my face.
Meanwhile my wings are breaking.
I can no longer help you fly.
Your angel needs their own.
Even an angel wings break sometimes.