Many people wonder why I can’t shed any tears.
I have cried for so long that my water has run dry.
I tried for years to hold back, but that simply would not work.
Every time there is a new dagger that goes to my heart.
It always come from the person that made it grow.
Now that person has slowly turn into a system that you can never say no to.
Instead, you hold it all in and run away.
You go and try to grow, but everyday they cut you down, until there is nothing more to say.
There is nothing more to do.
The pain is so strong that you never know how it let them go.
The question lies do you want them to.
I do not matter.
At least that is what my heart thinks.
It is what makes my head hurt.
It spins so much that I never know when it is turning.
Where can I find the space to be free?
Why does the world hate me?
What can I do to please.
I can not make that wish and I cannot see those beats.
I can try to be better, but that will not make them right.
I just want to make things smooth.
So that ocean can flow beneath your feet.
I think it all means that I must go.
There will be no goodbyes, and no more sorrows.
Just a well wish for a dream that will never come true.
How do you make your heart love you?
How do you learn to live in the pain, that it no longer becomes grief.
How do you go throughout the day, and you simply do not speak?
How do feel so unloved that you do not recognize it when it shows up.
How do you learn to be.
When all you want to be is still.
Yet the expectations and the feelings that others want only to make you hurt.
It is just tears that no one cares.
How do you just make it to another day when the day is always the same.
How do you do it?
Why do I always have to be strong?
Can I have some help besides the tears that always follow.
Does anybody even care?
Honestly, I cannot tell.
I never like me, now I am finding out that I do not love me.
I hide from my fear, but they are all I got.
They keep me warm at night, but they also keep me cold.
I guess that explains my soul.