I cannot cry anymore.
I cannot shed a river for an empty valley.
My eyes are no longer mine.
They belong to someone I have never known.
Yet they look at me as if we belong.
They way this hurt is a test for the rain.
Just to see if the walls are high enough.
What happen to the carefree joy.
When the world was old, but you were young.
Where the listeners always listen.
To the troubles not lasting until the night fall.
What happen to the time where you could dream.
Where your lovers new all your names.
The things that were passing always making you sing.
Where is the feeling that tonight was the night.
That made everything seem small, but the eyes lied to hide its crime.
That they never told the truth.
All you did was learn how the world always cried.
Yet, they say the eyes never lied.
It has been a few days since I have written anything. I needed a break from writing. I was getting sick of forcing myself to write something that I did not know what it means. I am afraid to admit that I no longer know what to say.
The last couple of years I could feel the words of almost anything come out so easy. Then the last couple of months I just did not know what I wanted to say, or if I should say something at all. There has been a lot of outside factors I think played a big part into what I was going through. I have been trying to fight through it, but it has not been a well thought out idea.
Life is not easy, and I do not like to ask for help. I do not like to be a burden on anybody, so I put all the pressure on myself to do it. I do not leave my house I just go to work come home, and think and wonder what am I doing. Is this stupid or worth my time. I have so much that I want to do, but I just can never seem to do it.
Now I think I am ready to write. Pressure has been laying on my side, for years and I have realize that time is running out. There is no more waiting I must go. I wrote a movie, and now I need to edit it. I would love to have help, but I must do it.
A trip around the sun has happen.
This time you are not here to see it.
I tried to think of words to say that would make it okay.
Then I remember the days I called to say hey.
The days I did not call, and I thought everything was okay.
Now all I want to do is have one more call.
What would I say?
The words simply do not appear.
A day of celebration has turn into a day of sorrow, a day of wishes.
The one thing remains the same.
Today is the day that you came into this place.
So now we celebrate you still even beyond the grave.