These last few years, especially these last few months I have learned that I am a people pleaser. I do not know where I get this from my parents. Over the years they would go out there way to make sure everyone is taken care of. I have notice that I do that a lot, and it not good. The reason I say it is not good is that I tend to look over myself and my own happiness.

Something that I learn over the years is that not many people care about your feelings. You are there to do a service for them and that is all they care about. I said this before, but I am going to say it again you must take care of you, and do not worry about what people say.

There will be opinions about your life, and you will care you have to start. I know that is something that I do is I put a ton of pressure on myself about hurting them and putting them in a bad position, but the whole time I am miserable. I would be at point of tears, but I would be too afraid to say something to them. What is it about us that do that? I do not have the answer to that.

This year I made a deal that I was going to put myself first, and I will advise you to do the same, life is short, and time is going by fast. The last thing you do not want to say that you miss out of something because you feared hurting someone feelings. Take care of you.


Poem: Back again

I do not know where I am.

I see the tunnel, but I cannot see the light.

This place is all so familiar, yet it not what I remember.

A mistake was made, yet I cannot admit what it was.

The halls and walkways bring back joy, but much more pain.

I wish I could turn back, but that boat has long gone.

This road is the one I chose, the one that was less traveled.

I am back where I do not want to be, but this is part that makes me who I am.

I need to turn around and find the hope, but the thought of being is tearful to some.

There is nothing else for me to do, I admit my mistake, and I hope for a brighter day.

Maybe then I can see the light.